American Dad Quotes

 Roger the Alien [after knocking out two girls with frying pan]: Did you see where they went?
Stan Smith: Who?
Roger the Alien: The black guys who did this.

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Stan Smith [picks up the phone]: This is Stan Smith.
Principal Lewis: Mr. Smith, I'm afraid there's a problem with your son.
Stan Smith: Oh, God, he's gay. This is it. This is the gay call. I've been ready for this for years.
[starts chugging down pills]
Principal Lewis: Uhh, no. It's just that he's gone mad with power. He evacuated the entire school and barricaded himself in my office.
Stan Smith: I see.
[foam starts coming out of his mouth]
Stan Smith: Henry, antidote.

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[Roger calling Hayley on the phone]
Roger the Alien: Hayley? Roger. Got a sec?
Hayley Smith: Roger? Whoah! Is this one of those Twilight Zone phones where I can talk to the dead, but only with horrible, ironic consequences?
Roger the Alien: Oh, right, it's past noon, you're already high.

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 Roger the Alien: Hey, with this mortar launcher, we can get back at the kid who went all Tom Sizemore on your eye!
Steve Smith: Oh, I wish I could get back at him. I'm gonna dress up as a girl and get him to have sex with me and then say "Ha! I'm not a girl! You just had sex with a boy that hates you!"
Roger the Alien: Yes, let's leave that plan between you, me, and the string of therapists who won't be able to help you.

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